Put yourself in the way of beauty

In time I’ll share more of my words. For now, Hayley’s obituary, written by her first chemotherapy nurse, Sydney Jonesmith, will serve as a reminder of the fierce friend, beautiful daughter, loving partner, and most of all, strong woman who profoundly understood how to live a life filled with love, and who passed away on December 26, 2022. Her words have touched so many, and her spirit lives on in those who had the divine privilege to know and love her.

Big love,

Evan

Hayley lived wholly undefined by her accomplishments, though certainly what she achieved and the roles she fulfilled in her life were varied and impressive, deserving of a memoir all their own. If one were to ask who Hayley was, however, the timeline of her milestones and boxes checked simply would not suffice.

Anyone who knew Hayley has a story of how quickly she could make a connection, how she skipped any semblance of small talk and got straight to drawing out someone’s deepest held joys, opinions, fears, traumas, and dreams with one incisive question; she loved a story in any form and shared her own with the world with searing honesty.

The purest example of the strength that is softness, openness to experience, and surrender to the unknown, Hayley balanced the precarious state that is wanting so much to live, all the while contending with the closeness of death. She did so with unbelievable grace and humor, acknowledging the truth of pain but with the conviction that suffering was an option, one she never seemed to choose.

Though cancer amplified her quest for joy, she didn’t need a life-altering diagnosis to give herself permission to treat herself to pistachio ice cream or sandwiches, to enjoy the pleasure of a perfectly ripe peach or tomato, to luxuriate in the quiet morning stillness with a cat in her lap and book in her hands; in essence, to put herself “in the way of beauty,” to borrow a line from Cheryl Strayed. She lived fully and intentionally; her breathy chuckle of a laugh never diminished.